Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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