I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
