I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
