is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
