I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
