I feel like I'm in dance class right now
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Houston, we have a blender
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
