Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
