Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Houston, we have a blender
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Boobs speak an international language.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Randomize
