Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
