Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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