OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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