ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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