i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
