Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
