oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
