I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
