He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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