How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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