Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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