all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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