It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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