you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
