no. you can't hotbox the world.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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