are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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