I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
3pm strippers are depressing
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
