a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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