Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
