And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
