remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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