dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
