I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
