you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
