she was so not down for the gang bang
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
