Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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