I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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