i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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