Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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