she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
