i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
