I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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