so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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