Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
