There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
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