who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
