What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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