She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
