Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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