Duck Duck Cougar?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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