I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
