I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
