Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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