You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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